The Difference Between A Mature Relationship And An Immature Relationship
The relationships between people can be very different. Someone can write an entire book in an attempt to classify them all but we will just divide them into two simple categories: mature and immature relationships and will try to figure out the difference between them.
To begin with, mature relationships are the relationships that are so important that they change and define the ways of our lives.
Relationships that fall into that category include those between spouses, close friends, parents and children. We can say it about any relationships that pass the requirement of seriously affecting our lives.
Everything else is immature relationships – when regardless of if you have them or not, you won’t feel any happiness or sadness.
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Serious relationships. Where do they come from?
When we finally meet someone important, we enter into serious relationships with them if we feel that we want it. Our lives with such person won’t go parallel or even cross but intertwine into a single thread which like a vortex will draw in all our already existing relationships with other people which will make it not a biaxial thread but something like a handmade wool thread.
From this point on, that thread is not only ours, but theirs too, and to pull our life out of it (from these relationships) sometimes is impossible at all. If we would do this, after all, we would have to cut that thread and our past along with it which would ruin our established lifestyle.
Mature relationships and Immature relationships: The Scales
To better understand the nature of mature relationships, imagine the scales – yes, those in the hands of Femida. One scale pan is yours – you have your deeds, feelings, words, thoughts, etc. on it regarding that person. On the other one is everything that other person feels towards us.
If after summing everything up, there is a deviation to the one side or another, it speaks of something being wrong. Although, the main problem is not in how you weigh everything up, but what exactly and how you put it on the relationship scales.
Of course, we can be pragmatic and value not the words but deeds. But this method isn’t suitable for evaluating of mature relationships because mature relationships are our life, and the people in it would be incomplete without all the irrational feelings, emotions, nervousness, and intuition.
Therefore, in a mature relationship, we need the second scale pan not as the counterweight for our attitude towards the person but as the place where we put them and our attitude to them.
If we place them higher (which happens rarely), we will look at them from the bottom up.
If we placed them below us, the attitude will change accordingly.
And the middle, as always, is “golden.”
We place on the unseen scale of our mature relationship such a conglomerate of feelings, emotions, thoughts, our past, present, and imagined future with that person that it evokes a pretty clear feeling: “I need him/her.” Or maybe not.
Using that image for the evaluation of relationships is good because it represents unsteadiness, shakiness, and volatility of our relationships. The contents of one of the scale pans change – and the relationship sways. Or it changes from mature to immature or the other way, which rarely happens.